A Question of NonExistence
by dantesdarkqueen
Summary: Is it true? Do they truly not exist? Or is there proof of their continued existence, beyond what anybody suspected? It takes a very sharp mind to assess all of the evidence, and Zexion’s is just the mind to do it.


**Summary: **Is it true? Do they truly not exist? Or is there evidence of their continued existence, beyond anybody suspected? It takes a very sharp mind to assess all of the proof, and Zexion's is just the mind to do it.

**Disclaimer: **Me no own. You no sue. _?Comprende?_

**Queen's Quornor: **There's a lot of things about the whole 'they don't exist' argument about the Nobodies that always bothered me, ever since the first time I played the game. I mean, it just doesn't make sense! The Heartless exist, and they're created from the darkness in peoples' hearts, but the Nobodies, the empty shells left behind when a heart has been stolen, does not? The way the Organization members act always got to me, too. For only pretending to have emotions, they certainly put up a good act. I mean, they can't remember who they were before, but they can still remember which emotion is which? That just doesn't make sense to me, especially not when you figure in some of their actions. Axel giving up everything to see his best friend again? Vexen completely losing it because the Aboveground members didn't respect him? Demyx's plea for Roxas to come back to the Organization? How would they have been able to act so well if they had no emotions? Well, Zexion shall be my mouth-piece here. He just strikes me as the type to also reach these conclusions, and then some…

A Question of Non-Existence

_Do we truly not exist?_

_That is a question I often ponder, when I am not preoccupied with conspiracies, retrieving my heart, experiments, or overseeing the Nobodies under my command. When my fellow apprentices and I first reawoke, finding ourselves unable to feel emotions as we did previously and straining to recall even the most familiar details about our identities and our lives, we were informed by Xemnas – that is, Xehanort – that we did not exist anymore. Bereft of our hearts, we were now empty shells, destined to die alone and fade into oblivion. _

_Unless we somehow recovered that which was lost._

_Over time, I have begun to wonder if Xemnas was mistaken. He told us we have no hearts, and in that lies the reason we cannot feel as we once did, and why memories of our previous lives are nearly impossible to recall, not only for us but also for those who knew us when we were human. _

_Then why, when I place my hand atop my left breast, do I feel the steady beat of the organ in question? It is not unique to me; I have conducted physical examinations on the other members of the Organization whilst they lay sleeping, ensnared in my illusions._

_All have retained their hearts. Every single one of them._

_So how to explain the loss of our identities?_

_My theory is that all sentient beings have not one, but _two_ hearts. There is a physical organ that is little more than a pump to circulate blood throughout the body, but there is also a _spiritual _heart. To that one is tied the ability to feel, and the memories we hold most dear. Perhaps even a measure of our own souls. Thus, when that heart is lost, so is everything to which it is connected._

_Yet the physical heart remains, along with the body. _

_I have also come to question the fact that we are unable to feel emotions. In observing my peers and analyzing myself, I am forced to admit a seemingly-impossible conclusion:_

_The emotional states and reactions they display are _real_. There is a pause which is distinctly absent in us. I have noticed that when sentients who still have their hearts pretend emotions they do not feel, there is always a brief span of time in which they must formulate which emotion will be displayed, and how strong the reaction will be. _

_None of us have shown this lag. _

_So if our spiritual hearts are gone, then how can we feel? My belief is that emotions are tied to the mind rather than the heart, or perhaps the soul itself. That is why emotions such as betrayal or loss can inflict physical pain upon a sentient's entire body, and love can cause that warmth so often spoken of. The spiritual heart is merely an amplifier; it strengthens emotions that were already there._

_There is little other explanation for certain odd behaviors in the Organization. The desire and loyalty Saix feels for Xemnas, for example, or the intense dislike between Axel, Marluxia, and Vexen. The friendship shared by Axel and Roxas. The pleasure Marluxia and Larxene take in tormenting Namine. Even Vexen's near-obsessive lunacy could not be accomplished without emotion of some degree. His insane outbursts and actions stem from indignation at the insolent, disrespectful behavior of the younger members towards him. If he was emotionless, how could he feel such anger and jealousy towards them?_

_Axel is another puzzle, as is Demyx. We must also include Roxas in this grouping. All three seem directed solely by emotions, which, according to Xemnas, they _are not supposed to have. _Yet they certainly seem to, all the same. Axel feels a loyalty to Roxas that we can only describe as 'friendship', and the boy returns that loyalty. Axel takes great pleasure in pranking other Organization members and stirring up trouble. Demyx, too, displays friendly behavior towards them, and whenever he is rebuffed he is genuinely crushed. These emotions would not be in evidence if they were truly emotionless. There would be no loyalty or pain at rejection, not joy at seeing each other once again. No pleasure gained from another's indignation or shock. _

_Roxas could be explained, I suppose. His Somebody is still alive, even though he is separate from him. Sora keeps the heart, and that keeps him going, even though his body is only a result of Kairi's power. Were it not for her interference, Roxas' heart would be as lost as the rest of ours'. Thus, since Sora still feels emotions, those resonate within his Nobody. But Roxas still feels emotions of his own, separate from Sora's. There is anger and a certain maliciousness in him, for example, that was never observed in his Somebody. _

_Hmm… That will require further study. _

_There is also the question of Demyx's music. It is said that art of any sort requires feeling – _emotion_ – to make it strong, to make it appealing. If we were truly as heartless as Xemnas claims, then Demyx would create melodies as empty as the body he inhabits._

_Trouble is, his music is always filled with emotions he is not supposed to have. They can be quick and joyous, blindingly fast and angry, or slow and filled with the pain of loss, heavy with his sorrow. His music always stirs something in us when we listen to it, which is part of the reason none of us tell him to stop playing. His music helps us _feel.

_And if we were unable to feel, how could his music have any effect upon us?_

_If we retain our physical hearts and feel emotions, albeit mere echoes of what we once did, then is it possible that Xemnas was wrong about our non-existence as well?_

_It is basic truth that something which does not exist cannot do anything to something that _does_ exist. Something cannot be touched or harmed by nothing, after all. Nor can it be interacted with, spoken to, or heard. You cannot see nothing._

Yet we do.

_We can touch. We can harm. We can interact. We can converse. We can hear. We can be seen._

_But for Xemnas' words, it would be concluded that we do exist. Is it possible that he was wrong? _

_Or that he misled us?_

_Xemnas values his position as our leader. He is the most powerful Nobody, without question. The reason he has never been challenged is because he alone holds the key to regaining our hearts, and allowing us the chance to exist once more._

_If it was to be discovered that we _do _exist, and he has been lying to us all this time…_

_Not even Saix would spare him then. For all his power, Xemnas could not stand up to the combined strength of us all._

_What if Xemnas jumped to conclusions after our hearts were lost, and then discovered later that he was wrong? He would have realized the consequences of the other Nobodies finding out. Thus, to preserve his life and his position, he would continue the charade, claiming that we do not exist and that we feel no emotions. It keeps us subservient to him, and protects his position as the Superior._

_But even if we do exist, and we do feel emotions, and retain our physical hearts, we are still empty inside. I have seen sentients act as Nobodies. They feel little or no emotion either because they _choose _not to, or because experiences in their lives have destroyed their ability to feel; they have not lost their spiritual hearts, but they have relinquished the ability to utilize them. _

_They are as empty as we are._

_Only through Kingdom Hearts, and thus through Xemnas, do we have the chance to retrieve our hearts. If the Organization destroys him, it could take months to attune our Kingdom Hearts to another Superior. In that time, some of us could fade. _

Die.

_I will keep these theories to myself. It serves me no purpose to expose the Superior's lies. If the above scenario does not occur, Xemnas would destroy me for putting forth such a proposal. _

_I will continue to play along._

_For now. _


End file.
